Pizza (and planning)

Last night, MJ and I went out for pizza. We pretty much never go out for pizza. It’s not that we don’t like pizza, it’s just that it’s not very healthy (something we’re trying to be), and we have other foods we like a lot more than pizza. So, our pizza consumption is pretty much limited to when we’re at meetings or at a party or a work event. Yesterday, though, I was strangely in the mood for pizza and we were both in the Emory area, so we headed over to Everybody’s Pizza. Everybody’s Pizza is kind of your average college and beer joint, but it’s a special place because it’s place where we decided that we’re getting married (which is probably an event I should blog about at some point, too). Anyway, since we were in the place where we decided to get married, we decided to make our next big wedding decision over pizza, too – the venue.


I haven’t blogged about it very much because it’s felt like banging my head against a brick wall, but our venue search has been a real pain. When we started planning our celebration, we thought finding a venue would be pretty easy. I mean, we live in a cool city with lots of cool places, right? Also, the venue was pretty low on our list of priorities – far below spending time with people we care about, good food and beverage, and good music. All we wanted in a venue was for it to be comfortable, reasonably priced (a number that kept changing), and fully accessible for people with all levels of mobility. It would be a bonus if the location was a little offbeat, MARTA accessible, or we could bring in all our own vendors, but those things were negotiable.

We started with looking at outdoors spaces and soon discovered that Atlanta is not particularly a great place for outdoor weddings and that the logistics thereof were a lot for us to handle as full-time students with full-time jobs. We looked at outdoor spaces in the mountains, but travel would be difficult for both our local and out-of-town guests. I also decided that worrying about rain on our big day was just one stress I didn’t want to deal with.

Then, we started looking at art galleries and lofts and other “non-traditional” cool spaces. I really liked a lot of these spaces but they tended to be either too small or too expensive or logistically challenging. There was one place I loved, but it doesn’t have indoor bathrooms. MJ said we can’t get married in a place where our guests have to use port-a-toilets, and, since it’s been pretty much his only request, I guess that’s fair. (You can thank him for flush toilets later.)

I looked at a few bed and breakfasts (all too small) and, finally, gave in to looking at more traditional venues. A lot of them were very expensive or had crazy rules, and none of them “felt right.” But, I was so frustrated with looking at places that I finally decided I would just book the next place we found that would accommodate 150 people and we could afford. So, I found a place. It was all white and a little more formal than we had hoped, but the coordinator was nice and it fit all of our “must-have” criteria. I put a two-week hold on the place and signed a contract. Done, right?

Wrong. When I went to drop off our deposit check, I found out that the coordinator had double-booked our space despite the fact that our contract said we would have exclusive use of the space on the day of the event. I cried. Honestly, I cried right there in the building – not because I actually loved the space, but because I was tired of looking. So, we took a break from wedding venue shopping for the month of October (a benefit of long-ish engagements) so that I could regain my sanity and we could regroup and get through a very, very busy month.

Once November rolled around, we narrowed the venue search down to two places (one of which I hadn’t visited until yesterday) and let those ideas swim around in our heads. Last night, over the same pizza we ate when we decided to get married, we decided on a venue. It took less than two minutes of discussion. We completely agreed on which venue is the right choice for us, even though it’s absolutely nothing like we thought our venue would be like. And I feel like the weight of a thousand worlds has been lifted from my shoulders.

I just emailed the coordinator to tell her we want the space, and I’ll be telling you all about it just as soon as the deposit is in her hand and the contract is in mine. I’m just too superstitious to tell you before it’s all on paper. But I think it’s for real this time.

Also, pizza is evidently our big decision making food. Weird.

Stalling. Just a little bit.

Dear blog –

We haven’t forgotten you. It’s just that our lives have been filled with work and school and travel and friends and volunteering for the last month or two. There has been some wedding planning, too, but mostly just interviewing vendors and venues - nothing that felt big enough to write a blog about it. Soon, though, we’ll be full of big wedding news. And, with the only eleven and half months to go, we probably won’t have a two month lull again. Promise.

With great anticipation,

JM & MJ

Complications are what make life beautiful (and complicated)

Hi there! I bet you thought I forgot about you, didn't you? Well, I haven't forgotten about you, dear blog readers. I just got a little bit busy and a little bit superstitious. There's so much to catch up on - new things going on in our lives and some wedding news to report. But I'm not quite ready to do those things yet. There's a little back-tracking I need to do first. Humor me?

::insert time warp music here::

When I was a little girl, my Mema (my maternal grandmother), gave me me two poetry books. Actually, she was a retired teacher and gave me lots of books, but there were two books that were very important in establishing my love for poetry. (Did you know that about me - that I love to read and write poetry? I should really do it more often. Anyway, back to the point.) One was a beautifully bound copy of Emily Dickenson's complete works because she was one of my grandmother's favorite poets. It's kind of fitting, if you know anything about either one of their lives. The other was a well-loved copy of Khalil Gibran's The Prophet that I'm pretty sure came from the library's used book sale. I remember reading both books cover to cover, sometimes in the middle of the night and sometimes in the bathtub. In fact, The Prophet was so water-logged by the end of middle school that the binding broke in half.

Mema also had a wonderful habit of cutting stories out of the newspaper when she thought you might enjoy reading them. Sometimes the clippings came tucked inside birthday cards, and some times she would mail them with a little note on pretty stationary with birds or flowers. When I was older, the clippings came in instant cappuccino tins with quarters she collected for me to use in the coin-operated laundry. However they came, though, the clippings seemed to come just when I needed a kind word or some guidance. I miss those clippings, and I wish I had saved more of them than I did.

So . . . last night, I couldn't sleep. All the wheels in my brain just wouldn't stop spinning, and I found myself thinking about family and love and how things are just so complicated. By the time I finally fell asleep, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed.

Fast forward to this morning when I was sitting at my computer and checking my daily blogroll (yes, I read A LOT of blogs.) One of my favorite writers was talking about how her daughter was learning to read under the sheets with a flashlight, and she mentioned a poem from The Prophet. I know the method was a little more 21st century than a newspaper clipping in a cappuccino tin, but the note felt destined exactly for me and my heart.

Your soul is oftentimes a battlefield, upon which your reason and your judgment wage war against your passion and your appetite. Would that I could be the peacemaker in your soul, that I might turn the discord and the rivalry of your elements into oneness and melody. But how shall I, you yourselves be also the peacemakers, nay, the lovers of all your elements?
The Prophet

*** I promise a return to the less introspective side of things next time. Stay tuned.

Bing Bang Boom - a brief update

So, it seems like I’m not very good at regular blogging. I think about the blog nearly every day, but I just don’t get around to writing something. What can you do? We’ve spent the last couple of weeks dealing with non-wedding related life: a sprained ankle (MJ’s), a dislocated shoulder (mine), a lost but now found dog, and preparing for some very exciting school/work transitions in the fall. The good news is that things are rarely boring around here!

In actual wedding news, we’ve also talked to nearly every non-Wedding Industrial Complex venue that we can think of in Atlanta. I had no idea that finding a venue would be so challenging! We both loved the idea of a camping/retreat type wedding in the mountains, but we’re not sure if everyone we want at our celebration can or would want to spend a weekend in the woods with us. So, while that idea isn’t completely off the table, it has moved a little lower on our list. Maybe we can have a bachelor/ette weekend in the woods instead?

Anyway, I think we’re down to a few venue finalists, and that makes me very happy, indeed. We’re still looking at The B Complex, though I’m having trouble getting returned calls from their site coordinator, and we’re also looking at Urban Oasis.

A venue that wasn’t really on our radar until recently is First Existentialist Congregation in Candler Park, but a good friend is now the office manager for First E. He brought it to our attention, and we’ve been thinking about the possibilities ever since. First E is a beautiful old building with a flexible event/ceremony space that could easily accommodate our guest list. It’s also right in the middle of town, and it’s been a special place for both of us in the past. We could have the ceremony under a big tent on the lawn and have dinner and dancing inside (or vice versa), and we can bring in what ever vendors we want. AND it’s reasonably priced. So, while we’re still not ready to commit (to the venue), it’s nice to have options and friends in all the right places.

We’re also headed to Asheville with my family this weekend, which should be a nice getaway before school starts. We’re going to see the Biltmore house, walk through Bele Chere, and celebrate my brother in law’s birthday. I hope you all have a lovely weekend, too!

Month-aversary

Tomorrow will be exactly one month since MJ and I decided to get married, and what a month it has been! I am so grateful for the week we took to enjoy the news for ourselves and not tell anyone about the pending nuptials. We originally waited to tell people because we wanted to tell our families first (his by phone since they are so far away and mine in person because they’re within day-trip distance), and it took about a week to arrange everyone’s schedules. At the time, I was bursting with excitement and was really frustrated about keeping the news quiet, but now I appreciate that quiet week of celebrating together, getting used to the idea of getting married, and talking about what our wedding priorities would be.

Because, as soon as people heard the big news, things have been anything but quiet! It’s been a big shock to move from our normally very private day-to-day lives into the “wedding planning spotlight.” Who knew that announcing an engagement was code for inviting everyone you’ve ever met to get super-involved with every part of your life? Of course, I don’t mean that in a bad way because nearly everyone has come forward with copious amounts of love and support and helpful advice. Fully 98% of people’s reactions have included things like trying to run me down with a shopping cart in Kroger to give me a hug or getting phone calls from long-lost friends or being offered (unsolicited!) help with venues/favors/food or having our having our sisters offer up their wedding planning expertise. And, really, 98% is a pretty freakin’ awesome winning average in any field. So, yeah, life is really pretty good.

I just had no idea what happens after you tell people you’re getting married. And, if I (who grew up in the middle of the wedding business) was surprised, you might imagine that MJ (who never gave much thought to weddings before the last year or so) has been really, really, surprised. The good news is that we have a wonderfully solid, healthy relationship and that wedding planning stress certainly isn’t the worst stress we could have. So, we’re taking deep breaths and trying to get used to the attention. As long as we end up surrounded by loving community on our big day, we’ll be happy. Right? Right!

As far as actual wedding plans go, though, we have actually managed to make a few decisions in the midst of the madness. YAY! More on those plans later.

This Good Life

Some days just feel like good days for no reason in particular, and today is one of those days. I figure I should just roll with the good day because, sometimes, a not-so-good day will roll around. Here are the things I’m grateful for, in a randomly generated (aka in my brain) order:

1) Babies and Friends. Last night, we took dinner over to our friends’ house to feed hard-working new parents and meet their new bambino. We had a lovely time, and it was really good to spend time with them because they are all three wonderful and amazing human beings. I also got to hold the little one for a long time, and (I won’t lie) that made me positively giddy.

2) Tasty homemade vegetarian food. As part of our general wellness plan and wedding prep (i.e. saving $ and shaping up), we are eating a lot more home-cooked healthy meals. Last night, I made vegetarian shepherd’s pie, a spinach salad, a raspberry clafouti, spicy summer vegetable soup, hummus wraps, and a carrot cucumber salad*. Tonight we’ll eat the soup and a Spanish zucchini torte. Nom nom nom.

3) Wedding possibilities! I actually have a call this afternoon with a potential wedding venue. I’m not going to talk about how excited I am about the possibility of throwing a party at this place because I have no idea if it’s actually a possibility or if it costs a million dollars. But you should check out The B Complex here.

4) A short work day! Because I’ve been working my pants off for the last couple of weeks, I have a short work day today. No further explanation of excitement needed!

* Clarification: Even though I cooked all of these things last night, we did not actually eat them all last night. We’ll be fed for 3 meals and will have plenty of soup to freeze.

House keeping.

I've been admonished by my sister (a much more experienced and witty blogger, btw) to keep this blog current. So, I'm going to try. That's been hard this week, though, because:

1) The last two weeks have been really, really hectic at work. As you might guess, summer is a busy time in the outdoor recreation world, so I've been spending a lot of time outside in the crazy heat and getting significantly less sleep than I need. I've apparently been working enough to lose my voice, and I think I've fried a little brain, too.

2) The last two weeks have been really hectic in our personal lives! I had no idea that people I haven't heard from in YEARS would come out of the woodwork upon hearing that we're getting married. We've also been fielding a million calls and emails from friends and family who want to know all the details. I think we knew people would be excited, but we are truly overwhelmed. This, I think, is a good thing.

3) I don't really know what to write about! I've got a couple of ideas, but I wonder what you'd like to read about. Thoughts? Ideas? Leave a comment, and let me know!

Okay, so now that I've finished making excuses, I'll leave you with a little story about why MJ is so wonderful and why I've decided to keep this guy.

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This week has been pretty tough for me (see #1). I just got back from a week at the Bike Ride Across Georgia, and I had a week full of special events and pesky administrative work. I woke up at 4:30 AM on Saturday to go to Muddy Buddy, spent the day outside there, and spent the night working and playing at the annual Possum Show in East Point (which was amazing). Then I had to get up early today to work three events at the same time. By the time I got home tonight, I was about FALL OUT - for real.

MJ and I had plans to get some serious house cleaning done tonight, though, so I asked him to let me have a 30 minute nap. I fully intended to get up after 30 minutes and get to work, but I didn't wake up for more than three hours! I was pretty grateful to be let off the chore wagon (even though they really need to be done), but I didn't feel too guilty because I assumed MJ probably took the time to catch up on the internet or something. But NOPE.

While I indulged in a Sunday evening nap, MJ spent four hours scrubbing every surface in the kitchen AND cleaning out the pantry AND making a delicious dinner. THEN, he washed all the dishes and cleaned the top of the fridge and the cleaned microwave cart and organized the pet supplies. And for the absolute best part, he didn't even give me guilt trip about sleeping through the work! Instead, he said he was glad I got some rest.

Best.Guy.Ever.

I don't have a before picture, but just trust me when I say it was a HOT MESS. The newly cleaned pantry, though, is super organized with separate shelves for everything. I have promised to try and keep it that way. HeavenHelpUs.

Words are important. So is silliness.

I'm not how this poem would fit into a wedding or an invitation, but I just found it. We love it, and it's sending me to bed in a good mood.

As a bonus, it kind of matches our favorite Johnny Cash song, too . . .

ARTIST: Fred Small
TITLE: If I Were a Moose

If I were a moose and you were a cow
Would you love me anyhow?
Would you introduce me to your folks
Would you tell your friends, "No moose jokes!"
If I were a moose and you were a cow

Would you invite me to your club
And risk a cruel bovine snub
Would you lead me down the receiving line
And boldly boast, "This moose is mine!"

Would your parents watch us graze
Shake their heads, "It's just a phase"
Or would they thank the stars above
Their precious heifer's found her love?

Would your grandparents change their will?
They'd really expected a Holstein bull
"For this we toiled before the plow
You bring home someone who's not even a cow

"There's lots of proper stock around
Like that nice young Guernsey at Farmer Brown's
Or that last one we ridiculed and cursed
On second thought you could do worse

"But if you think this thing will last
Could he learn to moo and eat our grass
Shed his antlers in the dirt
Could you persuade him to convert?"

If our anatomies did not quite fit
Would you make the best of it
Would you nuzzle up so near
And hum sweet cow tunes in my ear?

Or would you sadly break it off
When all the hillside sneered and scoffed
"You know these moose are all the same
They're lazy, they're stupid, they come from Maine"

It's true things slip a moose's mind
That cows remember all the time
Bulbous nose and knobby knees
A coat that harbors ticks and fleas

But a moose can be a handy thing
When hungry wolves come visiting
In icy gust of winter storm
Our fur is deep and dry and warm

And someday should your milk run dry
And farmer stare with baleful eye
In dead of night I'd slip your noose
And lead you home to the land of moose
If I were a moose and you were a cow

If hunters came to do me harm
Would you hide me in the barn
Would all the herd come on the run
And glare until they dropped their guns?

Might you permit a goodnight kiss
Could you learn to love wet moose lips?
If I were a moose and you were a cow
If you were a cow and I were a moose


Maybe moose and cow cake toppers are in order. I'll have to search Etsy later.

Night, y'all.

Caution: This is a wedding blog.

Well, it’s sort of a wedding blog. Since MJ and I recently decided to get officially hitched, I’m sure weddings will be all over my mind and will occupy a lot of this page. But, it’s also not exactly a wedding blog. I don’t want to write about weddings all the time for the next year because I think that would make me crazy. In fact, I’m counting on all of you to keep me accountable for not becoming (too) obsessed or starting to act like one of those engagement-induced fools – a la Bridezilla.

And, I won’t promise that everything I say about weddings and marriage will be all sweetness and light. I’m sure I’ll share some of the awesome things I find and how happy I am to be getting married, but I also have a lot of distrust for the “institution” of marriage and for the wedding industry (not to be confused with how excited I am to be getting hitched to this amazingly amazing person and have a big party with our friends and family). So, some of those things might sneak in, too.

Anyway, dear readers, welcome to our story. Thanks for being a part of it.

p.s. I have officially made two wedding-related purchases: a domain name for our future website and an Offbeat Bride (www.offbeatbride.com) t-shirt. AND I entered them into the wedding budget spreadsheet, which is pretty amazing if you know me. YAY!